In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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