Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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