Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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