So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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