this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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