Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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