If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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