All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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