A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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