Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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