Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
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How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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