dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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