Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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