We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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