It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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