Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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