I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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