dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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