you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
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Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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