all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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