I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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