woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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