you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize