I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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