with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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