I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
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is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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