I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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