yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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