You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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