Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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