In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All the doctor said was why
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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