he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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