"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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