Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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