dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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