I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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