i would punch a child for taco bell
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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