I hate your face
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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