I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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