Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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