either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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