So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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