My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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