Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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