So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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