i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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