Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize