U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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