I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize