im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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